Crazed (Se7en Deadly SEALs Book 3) Read online

  I covered Mitch with a blanket and watched him drift off to sleep. Maybe Mitch was right—maybe I should just forget about Grant. Grant deserved to be with a better woman. Mitch and I were so incredibly fucked up we almost made sense. We could move to Virginia Beach and try for one of the East Coast Teams. I could start over and create a new life.

  But I could never leave Joaquín. And despite how hard I tried to get over Grant, as long as he was alive, he would own my heart.

  I checked my phone again, waiting for the results of the DNA test. But when I entered my case number, the screen flashed “pending.”

  Joaquín had mentioned the name Julián, claiming he was another man in Mia’s life. Complete bullshit. I would’ve known if she’d had a serious boyfriend.

  So what did Joaquín know? He clearly knew about the boy, and wanted both of us to find out. But why? Was Julián Joaquín’s child, hidden away by Tiffany, and he found out and murdered her? Or was Julián my child, Mia and her brother keeping him from me for some fucking reason? Until I received the DNA results, I could do nothing but drive myself crazy speculating.

  But I could never forgive Mia.

  I needed to accept she was no longer the innocent woman I’d loved. I had no doubt Mia was capable of hiding aspects of her life from me; she clearly was unstable and had hidden a pregnancy and a baby from me.

  I had a plan. I had to fucking figure out if Julián was mine, and if not, what had happened to Mia’s baby. I had to seduce Mia. I called to ask her out, and she eagerly accepted.

  I was pulling out all the stops. Buying roses, dressing up. . . fuck, I even shaved.

  I picked her up after her shift at the Pickled Frog. Kyle made some comment alluding to the fact he thought I’d broken up with Ksenya. I laughed, that girl couldn’t wait to tell the world we were through. She’d probably already moved on to one of my friends, most likely Mitch. He hadn’t partied with the rest of the guys last night, and Mia had also not bothered me. It didn’t matter—my emotions toward her were turned off. She was nothing more than a mission to me now.

  As angry as I was, seeing her at the Pickled Frog still made my heart race. She’d changed out of her work clothes and wore a tight red wrap dress that hugged her curves. Fuck, I didn’t care anymore about my feelings. I’d been acting like a bitch. Tonight, I would fuck her to gain her trust. Nothing would stop me.

  “You look beautiful, Ksenya.”

  She blushed and I was shocked to see how easy it was for her to fake her emotions. She didn’t love me. She used me. Fine, I’d use her too.

  First stop, dinner. I chose a romantic Italian restaurant in Coronado, just a few blocks from the BUD/S compound. Her eyes widened as we walked up the steps. She clutched my arm, and I winked at her.

  The hostess sat us at a table overlooking the ocean. Mia bit her lip and nervously sipped her water.

  “Ksenya, I need to apologize. I’m sorry about kicking you out of my place that night that we hooked up. It had nothing to do with you,” I lied. It had everything to do with her, her scar, her deceit. Enough, focus. “I was fucking mad after seeing you with Mitch, and I didn’t want to fuck you when I was filled with rage.”

  She let out a sigh, surely buying my crappy excuse. “It is okay. I am sorry too, about Mitch. I do not like him the way I like you. But I have confession to give to you.”

  She continued to speak with her thick accent. I doubted she would break out as full-on Mia right now. “Shoot.”

  The waiter picked this moment to tell us the specials. I ordered the osso bucco, and Mia ordered pesto fettuccine sans meat.

  Once we were alone again, Mia started her story. “After you made me quit Panthers, I got scared about the money. At party with your friends, I asked to Mitch about job, and he told to me about club. That is only reason I talked to him.”

  Lying again. She probably suspected Mitch of having something to do with Tiffany’s murder. Not a crazy assumption, but she didn’t know Mitch like I knew him. He was a classic hard-partying Team guy—loved hard liquor, harder drugs, and loose women. After BUD/S and two long deployments with the asshole, I knew for a fact he was actually compassionate. He cared about people, his Teammates, even his ex-wife and their dog. He had many vices, but he was not a murderer. “Go on.”

  She twirled her hair. “That night you kick me out, I went again to Diamond. I was afraid you did not want me no more. Mitch, he try to get me in the bed, but I told it to him, no. And I cook for him dinner last night, but I told him that I am not interested in being together with him. You must believe me, I am sorry.”

  The hair stood on my arms. Mitch, the fucking jackass. But I couldn’t be too mad at him. He didn’t know Ksenya was Mia, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to tell him. As fucked up as it was, our Team guy code didn’t apply to strippers.

  “I believe you. Let’s not talk about it. But you can’t work at Diamond. Call me an asshole, but I don’t want other men seeing your body.” At this point, she and Mitch could star in a sex tape and I wouldn’t care—but I needed to keep her close to me until I could figure out what was going on with her kid.

  She didn’t hesitate. “Deal.”

  We spent the next hour enjoying the view, the wonderful food, and a bottle of wine. Her body posture mirrored mine. She lied and told me stories about growing up in the Ukraine, I told her stories about my buddies in Chicago.

  There was a lull in the conversation, and I knew it was time. She had had enough alcohol, and I couldn’t be fake to her any longer. I needed answers.

  I swirled the wine in my glass, took her hand across the table. “Ksenya, I need to ask you something. I noticed your scar—I’m a corpsman, a medic. Are you a mother?”

  She bit her lip and said nothing.

  I wasn’t going to give up that easily. “You can trust me, baby.”

  The color drained from her face and she gulped. “I had baby boy, two years ago,” she said. Her voice was weak and soft, and even her accent seemed to vanish.

  A boy. I was more certain than ever that Julián had to be our son though I didn’t have any proof yet, just circumstantial evidence. Despite her lies up until this point, her body language made me think she believed what she was saying.

  “Where is he?”

  She clutched her wineglass and downed it, her hand shaking. “He is sweet angel and I love him. But he is sick, so he die. And I die inside.”

  Died? He was dead? How the fuck did he die?

  My body heat rose, as if I was suffocating in this suit.

  No, it couldn’t be. If her baby was dead, who the fuck was Julián? He had to be our kid. Or maybe he really was Joaquín’s.

  Was she lying about the baby being dead, knowing she hid him somewhere? Or if Julián was our son, maybe Mia didn’t even know he was alive.

  This nonstop uncertainty, lies and deception made me feel like I was living in a nightmare.

  I wanted to reach across the table and shake Mia until she told me the truth, about everything. Inject her with a truth serum.

  The knowledge that Mia had a baby, possibly my son, alone, and that baby was now gone, sent wrath seeping through my pores. I steadied my breath, as if I was holding it underwater during a mission. “I’m sorry. What happened?”

  Mia looked me dead in my eyes, a stone-cold stare. Like the day she dumped me. Blank, no emotion, vacant.

  “I go to party. My boyfriend, he was out of town. I love him very, very much. He is good to me, good man. I drink many drink, and I think it was no good. I go to lie down, and I do not remember what happen next. When I wake up, a man he is there, my clothes down on my feet. I attack the man but it is too late. My boyfriend, he come home, but I did not tell to him. I find out after I am with baby and because I do not know who is father, I am scared and I leave. Nine months after, I have baby.”

  What in the fucking hell? My eye twitched and my ears pounded. I resisted the urge to grab a plate and hurl it through the bay window of the restaurant. Every word, every
moment we had shared flashed before my eyes, like a fucking movie show.

  Who’d fucking attacked her?

  “Who attacked you? Did you file a report? Did you do a rape kit? Did you call the fucking police?”

  “No, I am very scared. And I am ashamed that I drink so much. I only want the man to go away.”

  So this motherfucker was still out there? And she’d never fucking told me?

  Was her baby my son or the attacker’s? I’d slept with Mia when I’d come back from deployment, so it was possible, especially because we hadn’t used a condom. She’d been on the pill before we deployed so I never asked, but how the fuck did I know if she was still taking it while I was gone. Why hadn’t Mia ever told me? She had done nothing wrong; she was a victim. How could she not trust me enough to tell me the truth? Instead, she ghosted me—ran away like a fucking coward.

  I would’ve done anything for her, anything. I would’ve taken care of her through her pregnancy, married her even if the kid wasn’t mine, supported her no matter what the decision. How could she not trust me with the truth?

  I squeezed her hand tightly. “I’m sorry, baby. But I give you my word, as long as you’re with me, I’ll make sure nothing happens to you again.”

  She shrugged her shoulders and stared out at the ocean. Tears welled in her eyes, and I didn’t think her story was another lie. This was real, she had finally told me the truth. And she believed our baby was dead.

  “It does not matter. Nothing matters. I can never bring him back. I have no family. I have nothing.”

  And like that, this sense of protectiveness trumped all the hatred I’d built up for her inside me. “You’re wrong, baby—you have me.”

  The night seemed clearer, the stars brighter than I’d seen them in years. After keeping the most painful secret buried deep inside, I’d finally told someone my truth about Elías. And not just anyone, I’d told Grant.

  Well, not the whole truth. I didn’t mention how I prayed that he was the father. But once I held Elías in my arms, his paternity didn’t matter. All that mattered was that he was my son—a part of me, a part of Joaquín, a part of my parents. He had the most beautiful brown eyes and big mop of black hair. The happiest time in my life was spent with my baby boy.

  But then he was taken away from me.

  Grant pulled me into his arms, his lips pressing into mine, the heat of his body making my core ache for him. I didn’t want to wait anymore. I’d never felt closer to him as I had in this moment. I needed to express my love, I needed his skin against mine.

  “I want to go to home together with you.”

  A devilish smile graced his face and we headed back to his bike. The salty breeze blew my worries away. I briefly contemplated abandoning my mission to save Joaquín. I could embrace life as Ksenya, and try to make a new life with Grant. But just like the roots of my hair showing, I was certain the cracks in my story would expose me to Grant sooner than later. Too many people knew now, it was only a matter of time.

  The ride back to his place was torture, feeling the vibration of the bike between my legs, aching to feel his hard cock inside me. Deciding I couldn’t wait, I reached around his waist and rubbed his thighs in small circles, purposely running my thumb over the tip of his arousal that now bulged in his jeans. He leaned back into me and groaned. I’d been such a fucking tease with him, but this time, I wasn’t leading him on.

  Grant pushed open the door to his place. The gentleman was gone, replaced with a primal beast. Before we’d even taken a few steps inside, he’d shoved me up against the wall, kissing me hard. Gripping my ass, he pulled me up and down against his cock. He breathed hard against my neck as he picked me up and turned us toward the coffee table.

  Setting me down on the table, he undid my wrap dress, the fabric pooling on the floor. He paused for a moment, and I could feel the intensity of his gaze fall on my body. He shooed Hero outside and then turned his attention back to me. Grant nibbled on my neck, burying his head into my cleavage and kissed my skin. He unhooked my red lace bra, and lavished attention on my nipples, making circles over my flesh.

  My pussy pulsed, and my entire body was on fire, relishing his touch. When his hand dropped down between my legs, I moaned.

  He kissed his way slowly down my belly, and I couldn’t wait one more second for him to give me what I craved.

  He pulled my panties off, kissing between my thighs down to my toes.

  His fingers rubbed my clit, and the pressure made me gasp. “Tell me what you want.”

  “I—I want your tongue.”

  He growled then held my legs apart and buried his face deep in my pussy. He licked me like it was his mission to make me come, his free hand tugging on my nipples. I moaned and pulled his head tightly against my body, rocking on his face, his nose rubbing against my clit. My reaction seemed to excite him even more. He pushed my knees up until my thighs were against my chest.

  I didn’t know how long I could last, it had been so long and he felt so amazing. Years of love, loss, lust, hatred, and longing added to the intensity of this moment.

  “Oh, please. Make me come.”

  Grant sucked on my clit as he pressed two fingers deep inside. I squeezed my legs tightly around his head and arched my back, coming all over his face. My body trembled and I let out a giggle, pure bliss taking over my body and mind.

  He sat back and looked at me with a satisfied grin. Setting my legs down, he pulled me up. He lifted me bridal style and carried me to his bedroom.

  There was no turning back. Grant was about to fuck Ksenya. And Mia couldn’t wait another second.

  I’d been fantasizing about this moment since the day I’d left him. And now, even though my body looked different, my soul danced in anticipation of being reunited with its mate.

  He sat me on the corner of his bed and stood over me and pulled off his shirt. His tan skin showed off every line of definition, and his tattoos made him look like even more of a badass.

  His jeans and boxers dropped next, releasing his beautiful dick.

  “Suck my cock.”

  Yes, Instructor Carrion. I loved him ordering me around, like I was one of his recruits. I grasped his cock with my hand, rubbing over the length, and he tangled his hand in my hair, pressing my mouth down on him.

  He tasted delicious, masculine and earthy. I licked over the head, playfully rubbing my lips over the tip.

  “Stop being a tease. Suck me.”

  I took him deep, as he fucked the back of my mouth. I sucked deeper, harder, I couldn’t get enough. The fire grew in my pussy, and he pulled me up by my hair and threw me back down on the bed.

  I spread my legs. “I need you. Fuck me, please.”

  He climbed over me, taking a moment to stare at my body. I kissed his neck, my hands tracing his shoulders, his scar. He took one hand and held his cock, rubbing the tip along my opening, and over my clit. Bending down, he took a nipple between his teeth and flicked it with his tongue.

  Should I ask for a condom? I was on the pill, and Grant and I had never used condoms since we’d been each other’s firsts. I knew he had been fucking strippers since our breakup, but I also knew the Navy tested their SEALs every month. Call me stupid, but I trusted him.

  But why would he sleep with me without a condom? He thought I was a stripper. He must have believed my good girl act or have been really careless.

  Fuck it, I didn’t care.

  He thrust deep in me, and I gasped. My pussy clamped down, never wanting him to pull out. He squeezed my ass and pressed my hips flat and pushed until he was deep inside me. I wrapped my legs around him, my nails digging into his back. I’d waited for this moment for so long and it was even more incredible than I had imagined.

  I savored every stroke, every push, relishing every second he had been inside of me. It had been too long since I’d felt him deep inside me, where he belonged.

  He slid out and then pounded my pussy, deep and hard. His rhythm quickened and I was lost in th
e sensation. His body slapped against mine. I never wanted him to stop fucking me.

  He growled. “Come baby. Come all over my cock.”

  I couldn’t hold back anymore, I wanted this release, I wanted this connection. I wanted my man back.

  My body quivered, pleasure ripping through my body. He rocked me through my orgasm. I came so hard I was unable to hold back my words.

  “I love you, Grant.” I looked deep in his eyes, our souls connected. Even with this mask I wore, I was finally one with my love.

  His body tensed, he grunted and jerked, releasing inside me. We collapsed together on the bed, and he held me in his arms.

  He cupped my face, the way he had the night he’d first told me that he loved me. Then his hand squeezed my chin, so hard it stung.

  “Stop fucking lying to me, Mia.”

  Carnal

  STAY TUNED FOR

  CARNAL

  Episode Four in the Se7en Deadly SEALs Series

  Se7en Deadly SEALs can’t save me now

  6ix months I’ve wasted only to have my secret discovered

  5ive days since I met the little boy I can’t stop thinking about

  4our minutes I’ve sat in silence since I learned my jig was up

  Thre3 times I’ve seen my brother behind bars

  2wo years since I said goodbye to my baby

  1ne amazing night of ecstasy with my soul mate

  Zer0 idea what Grant will do to me now that he knows I lied

  After years apart, Grant and I finally made love again. It was intoxicating, the perfect blend of pleasure and passion. But now that he knows my secret, I’m at his mercy. I’m addicted to him—I didn’t anticipate the bond between us to be so Carnal.

  Coming to your Kindle in Summer 2016!

  Thank you for reading my book.